After so long, I now ask myself, why do people strive to fit into their father’s shoes? Where is the law that a child must become what his father was? I am only saying this now because I am better enlightened. When I was younger, I just wanted to live up to my father’s name. Living up to my father’s name to me meant becoming what he was. What was my father? A well-known male escort. Back then, the only question on my mind was shall I become a gay male escort just like my dad. From as old as twelve, I would approach my dad and ask him, “shall I become a gay male escort” and he would not reply, rather he would insist that I should focus on my studies. I really did not understand him because I expected him to be enthusiastic about the idea of his son aiming to take over his business but he wasn’t.
As I aged, the urge to become a male escort got higher. I admired mostly the way my father was always neatly dressed and the way mum chose his clothes for different outings. I wonder where people get the notion that male escorts never have a happy family. If I look at my family – my mum and dad – I always want to have a family like them. There was no secret between them. In fact, my dad told my mum about all his clients and most times, my mum was the one who directed him on what to wear and gave him a little tip about women.
Just before I got into the university, I met my dad to counsel me on what course he would love me to study.
“The ball is in your court,” he said.
“Shall I become a gay male escort?” I asked.
“You have to become more before you can be successful male escort”, he said.
“How do you mean?” I pressed further.
“Son, your question should not be ‘shall I become a gay male escort’ but ‘what should I do to become a good male escort”.
I was startled and kept quiet. He continued, “First, you need to be able to speak fluently which means you could take up a course in languages. Depending on whether you would like to continue here or move to a different country, now could be the best time to begin to learn a foreign language.” He took a pause, and looked sternly at me. I began to wonder what he was searching for. After a short while, he began to speak again, “Many people, like you are only bothered about, ‘when shall I become a gay male escort?’ that they fail to prepare to make the important decisions. It is hard going out with another woman and not expect your wife to be furious about it. Women are naturally jealous you know,”
He smiled and I smiled back at him. Then he continued to talk. “It is important to get the requisite skills before venturing into any field. Communication is very important especially when you are dealing with women. A lot of relationships are packing up because of poor communication between the couples.”
For the next two hours, I sat quietly listening to my dad. When he finished, the question left my head. I discovered it is not a matter of when but building to the process. The lesson I learnt that day followed me to adulthood. My father went ahead to give me a lasting advice. He told me that if I had no passion for male escorting, I should stop asking. He told me that I had nothing to prove to him, “Your life is yours and should be independent of mine. Live your life to the fullest and take responsibility for your actions.”
I dropped the constant nudging of becoming a gay male escort and became a counsellor. I knew deep down, I just wanted to live up to my father’s expectation. When I realized had nothing to prove, I went for what gave me joy which was advising people.